Those who know me well know that I am very excited to leave for college next fall. Sometimes, my constant craving of college life can get a bit obsessive. I'm not content where I am now. It's a daily struggle.
A lot of it stems from loneliness. I have such a small social life this year. My good friends are busy, or I'm busy with classes. My boyfriend is four hours away. It's a tough year, and I absolutely until I get to meet new people at college.
This weekend, though, I think it's come from jealousy. One of my current top choices for college, Liberty University in Virginia, does this program called "College For A Weekend" where high school students can come and spend a weekend on campus and go to classes and school events and such. It's actually this weekend, and originally, I was planning on going. Then several things came up, and besides, I didn't even have a ride up there. So I was unable to attend this weekend, and honestly, it's been getting to me.
This was also paired with the fact that I spent nearly six hours yesterday working on college application essays, which was exhausting. I'm ready for all of this senior year stuff to be over. I'm ready to leave, to start over, to have some new experiences. I hear my boyfriend talk about the wonderful experiences he's having up at Liberty, and I get terribly jealous, instead of being content where I am right now. That's wrong of me, and it's something I've been battling for a long time.
However, yesterday I was reminded of the parable in the Bible, where three servants were entrusted with small portions of their master's fortune, to test them, to see what they would do with it. The ones who were faithful even with just the small amounts were rewarded, and given more responsibilities
This doesn't just apply to money. This applies to everyday life. Are we being faithful in the little things that God has entrusted us with? If not, why would He give us bigger things?
For me personally, my senior year feels like one of those "little things". I don't have as much responsibility as I'd like. I don't have as many opportunities as I'd like. I don't have as many people in my life as I would like. My world feels terribly small, and I desire more. However, if I am not faithful in what I have been given now, how would I be faithful with more?
If I am not bothering to spend time with the few people around me now, what makes me think that I will take the time to make friends at college? If I am letting opportunities pass by me now, what makes me think that I will take advantage of the new opportunities available at to me at college?
College is not going to fix my life. Simple as that. It's not. It will be a time of great growth for me, but that doesn't mean that growth has to wait to begin until I get there. It begins now. In the little things, so that when I am given those bigger things, I will be prepared. Growth begins today.
And part of that also means that I need to live in today. I need to enjoy each and every day God has given me, rather than have the mindset of "nine more months and I'll get to go away to college." No. I need to enjoy today.
I am making a commitment, today, to being faithful in the little things. And I cannot wait to see what bigger things God has in store for me.